Monthly Archives: November 2012

Cliques – They Start Young

Posted in Life Lessons, Parent Dilemma, Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

It always amazes me the “things” I learn when driving the children’s carpools.  It’s as if they assume there is a magical barrier that blocks out their conversation from those sitting in the front seat from the those having the conversation further back in the car.

Case in Point: During a recent carpool, I learned that my daughter formed a “group” and she was the self-appointed leader.  I had to chuckle (inwardly, of course) because, well let’s face it – the apple never falls far from the tree.  Both my husband and I are planners, schedulers and tend not to shy away from taking the lead, so it’s no surprise that our first-born would be any different.  What surprised me, however, was the reason this group formed.  Apparently, there is a child in my daughter’s grade who is not particularly nice and has risen to the level of “popular girl”.  From what I have learned, she is not pleasant with those who are not “her friends” and she “appoints” whom she will be friends with and whom those appointed can be friends with.two young girls laughing behind another girls back

Did I mention my daughter is eight years-old?

I learned while driving in the car with the imaginary barrier safely shielding this conversation, that my daughter began “her group” because she felt terrible for those who were cast away by this popular girl.  Her group was all-welcoming, but you had to denounce your friendship with this popular girl.

At this point, I had to remove the magical barrier and give my daughter and her friends, my two cents.  I explained to the girls that their group is no better than the popular group when they begin excluding others.  They thought about this further and seemed to grasp the point, but really to no avail.  “But SHE is mean and goes out of her way to be mean.”

I debated about getting involved any further.  I emphasised the importance of ignoring this popular girl and enjoying the friendships they do have with each other.  I hoped that would be the end of this issue.  However, it seems to have escalated and has begun to impact a decent amount of my daughters’ friends – all of whom are unhappy because of this popular girl.

So what is a mother to do?  Of course, I would love to call this girl’s mother and give her a piece of my mind, but that would be pointless and futile – solving nothing.   I am proud my daughter rejected being a member of this exclusive group, but forming her own is not the answer.  And in all honesty, I wish this could just resolve itself.  I remember mean girls back in my day – maybe not this young – but they were present.  I used the “ignore” method and it worked for me despite the very hurt feelings.

So again I ask, what is a mother to do?   Mothers who have experienced this, what advice to you have for us?

Five Ways to Make the Holidays Simple

Posted in Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

Crowded super malls.

Holiday parties.

Decorating from last year’s poorly packed boxes.

Greeting cards, stamps, missing addresses.

Mix this with short school schedules and year-end meetings/ reports and the stress just boils over.  It’s easy to see why the holidays can drive anyone mad.  So I came up with a solution that has worked for me.  Today, I share my tips with you.   Because this year, I WILL enjoy the holidays!

1. The List.  Let this list be your friend. So grab your favorite cup of coffee, tea or sparkly glass of wine, open an excel sheet and list every person you need to shop for (do this during the last week of November).  Begin with the most important folks and work your way down – parents, children, family, friends, teachers, bus driver, mail man, cleaning lady, sanitation crew – list everyone you would like to give to.  Seeing the entire list can either make you scream for the hills or give you the full scope of what you are in for.  Give yourself a solid dollar amount you are willing to spend (make sure to set up your excel formula) and begin listing what you are willing to spend on each person and a gift idea.  Also, don’t be afraid to group certain people the same gift.  For example, mail man, bus driver and cleaning lady can all receive a bottle of wine and gift card.  Visit Trader Joe’s and buy one case of wine and a small dollar amount gift cards.  Remember, this is a work in progress and can be adjusted throughout the season.

2. Cyber Shop the Toys.  While I am a huge proponent of Shop Small Shop local, I am also a realist.  I hate going anywhere near ToysRUs or any significant toy section of any department store.  So from my List, during the first week of December, I purchase all the toys from one cyber shop – normally the site that offers either free shipping AND at least 10% off the total bill.  In less than 30 minutes, the worst part of the list is done.  THEN, Shop Small Shop Local.  Take a look at everyone that remains on the list.  Can you find what you would like to buy them locally? If not local you, do you know of a place local to them?  Call or place your order with their local shop and spread the Holiday cheer exponentially!

3. Get the greeting card done.  Nowadays, everyone is a graphic designer thanks to online stationary sites.  I am a HUGE fan of VistaPrint, but there are also many great local print shops that can make your greeting cards spectacular.  Choose your favorite photo or photos of the past year and either upload them to an online store or have them printed locally.  One quick trick – I include a simple pre-printed message and our family names on the back side of my cards.  I don’t need to sign each card, but I make sure to include one or two personalized sentences to each recipient.  If you can’t think of something to say to the recipient, they shouldn’t be on your list.  And like the gift list, do this either the last week of November or first week of December.

4. Pamper and Spa. Schedule a massage or pedicure at your favorite Spa some time in mid December.  If you can swing it, invite some of your friends to join you and make it a Ladies Day complete with a lunch or brunch or dinner out.  Everyone could use the distraction and relaxation.

5. Deck the Halls.  Regardless of how much crap I throw away, our Christmas boxes multiply over the course of the year in the attic.  I find, however, if we begin putting together our holiday decor after Thanksgiving, I can weed out the new crap and the old crap and just decorate with the pieces I treasure the most.  Hubby and I tackle the outside and try to avoid ladders and more than two extension cords.  Another day, we tackle the inside and let the kids help.  Wine for the adults and hot coco for the kids.  As the calendar turns to December, the decorations are done and it’s hard not to be in the holiday mood when you catch your child sitting under the tree writing their lists to Santa.

So this is what works for me.  As of today, I have item #3 checked off,  item #4 scheduled and item #5 done (and I also trashed two boxes!).  I am almost finished with item #1 and, item #2 is all I really have left to tackle.  I plan to enjoy this season and while I am certain I will have a melt down or a flash of panic, I have a plan and hope to stick to it.  I WILL enjoy the holidays!

Two. Deux. Due. Dos

Posted in I am Thankful Today For, Life Lessons, Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

Yesterday, marked my second year of blogging.   And in these two years I have ….

lost and gained weight

laughed and cried

made and missed deadlines

learned and hopefully taught too.

But most importantly, I have connected with you.  Through your encouragement and thoughtful comments, I have been presented with a great many opportunities and met some terrific people that I can now call my friends.  I do not make a single penny on or from this page, but I feel rich with love and confidence.  I always wanted to be a writer……well maybe now I am closer to that dream.

Mrs. Fix-It is Thankful

Posted in I am Thankful Today For by

We (Hubby, Sassy, Little Man, Ginormous “thinks he is a mouse” Chocolate Labrador and recently departed fish who Little Man insisted was in hibernation {another post of another day} and I) have lived in our home for a little over seven years.  And in that time, much of our home has transformed with both little and big projects.  And of all the “things” that needed to be fixed or changed or updated, our entry way light was the bane of my to-do list.  Maybe because it was so small or maybe because it worked, I despised its look, especially as more and more changed and updated around it.

But alas, just a few weeks ago, the light no longer worked.  It required some silly bulb that was a pain to replace.  We ignored the lack of light (hell, we were seasoned 8 day veterans of no light) and made do.

Shiny new fixture on the left. Old fixture already in the trash!

Then tonight we went to Home Depot.

By tonight I mean 6pm.  As I write this post its 10:22pm.  Two trips later, one ceiling medallion and several dabs of gorilla glue (don’t ask), the light that I wanted and Hubby didn’t, is now proudly lit in our center hallway.

So tonight I am thankful that Hubby didn’t kill me.  What should have taken 30 minutes top to assemble and mount, took closer to 4 hours and a lot of name calling under breath – especially when I mentioned that it wasn’t quite centered the first time it went up.  Alas, all is right with the light.  Hubby is proud to have mastered the problem and even agrees that the fixture is the perfect addition to our home!

 

Thank everyone who joined me in the Twenty-Two Days of Thanks.  Whether through posts on Facebook or your blog or twitter, I appreciated everyone’s thoughts and posts of thanks.  We have just have 2 more days…….

 

Eat, Drink and Be Thankful

Posted in I am Thankful Today For by

Let me be clear.  I am self-taught cook – aka- I have been known to botch a meal or two and I can’t for the life of me bake.  That being said, I made two of the best meals I have ever cooked this past weekend.

Saturday night I whipped up Bacon Wrapped Scallops, Filet Mignon, Fresh Creamed Spinach and Baked French Fries.  Accompanied by terrific friends and a delicious bottle of Clua wine (Spain), the meal was divine.

On the heels of the delightful meal, I produced a traditional Italian Sunday dinner for a very special birthday lady, my mother-in-law, where we celebrated among family with warm homemade Foccia bread, Fresh Mozzarella and a fine “gravy” of meatballs and sausage.

Needless to say that by Sunday evening, I was pooped.  Did I mention in between my cooking escapades, we had one birthday party, a trip to ShopRite mid-day days before the big holidays, Nutcracker rehearsals and me nursing a cold.

So how does this relate to being thankful?  Easy.  I am thankful I am NOT hosting Thanksgiving this year!  Instead, I can simply make my contribution to the dinner I was invited to and simply enjoy the day!

 

 

I would like to say “I can’t believe how quickly this month passed”, but that would be an understatement.  Instead, I would like to thank everyone who joined me inthe Twenty-Two Days of Thanks.  Whether through posts on Facebook or your blog or twitter, I appreciated everyone’s thoughts and posts of thanks.  We have just have 3 more days…….

 

Photo Credit:  PartyBluPrints created this terrific idea in which I shared with my family and friends. This Giving Tree greets all of our guests :-)