Family Leaves after a New Born

According to a new report, the number of the new mothers that are opting for the maternity leave remain stagnant even though there has been economic growth. This has gone against the expert’s expectations since the ease on the family finances would enable more mothers to take time off from their jobs after they have given birth to a child. Though more than half of the maternity leave that is taken by the American mothers are not paid the figure has is slow to change. On the other hand, the number of leaves taken by men has increased at a high rate during this time, shows the report by the Center for Human Resource of the Ohio State University.

 

 

According to the report, there is no fluctuation of the number of the mothers taking leaves whether paid or unpaid. For instance, there has been an average of 273,000 women who took maternity leave between 1994 and 2015. This translate to constant maternity leaves per 10,000 birth remained constant. These figures defy logic because the country experienced 66% growth in the economy in the same period. According to Jay Zagorsky a contributor to the report he said that he expected the number of women taking maternity leaves to increase considering the growth of the economy.

 

 

Three states that include New Jersey, Rhode Island as well as California have also passed legislation on maternity leaves. For example, the New Jersey’s family policy that was passed in 2009, enables mothers to take leave for six weeks at reduced pay, that has an annual cap, for the care of the infant or the ailing member of the family. The number of people taking leaves is about 3000 each year, this is according to the report that was released last year.

 

 

The state of New Jersey was the second state after California to enact family leave after a new born. According to officials, this was one of the most vital steps toward investing in the future of the young children as well as their families. After passing of the reforms most parents and other stake holders believed that New Jersey needed to make some minimalist law reforms so that to make the law work efficiently for that parent who is in the low-income bracket.

 

Nintendo Switch Made with Families in Mind

It’s been popping up in newsfeeds and getting quite a bit of attention on tech news sites, and it might be one of the hottest selling electronic items in 2017 that actually gets a family to spend more time together. The Nintendo Switch is finally coming to online and retail stores and fans of the longtime gaming company are eager for its launch March 3.

The Nintendo Switch is designed to be big with busy families, allowing users to play a large number of age-appropriate games anywhere they want, in the home or on the road. You can plug the Switch into your TV and also take the portable, handheld gaming device out the backdoor with a quick flick of the console. Switch allows you to get those kids out of the living room and into the great outdoors without missing a level or expending a virtual life. This game changer is retailing for $299.99.

The Nintendo Switch is loaded with family-friendly games that will get everybody lounging on the couch fired up and playing together. Confirmed games for the March 3 launch include “Dragon Quest Heroes 1 & 2”, “Just Dance 2017,” “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild,” and “Super Bomberman R” among others. Lego and other well-known game brands are gearing up for later launches on Switch.

This new home gaming system boasts the ability to give gamers more freedom for fun and families more ways to have a blast together on many different levels. Grandparents, kids and cousins of all ages will want to get in on the Switch action.

Tips to deal with child emotional agility

It is not always easy to watch your child when they are unhappy. It doesn’t matter why the child is sad, could be the popping of a balloon or loss of a pet but the main point is to brighten their face again as soon as possible. That is what most parents target to do. But does the immediate relief of the emotional agility help the child in the long run?

Below are three practical procedures a parent, a guardian or even a teacher can practice.

Feel their pain as well

As a parent, you need to fit in her emotional world and that way, you will avoid just pushing away the feeling with mere words. Such expressions like, do not be sad, “you should not be as angry, or it will go away soon, means you don’t understand how the child feels.

Recognize their emotion without concealing

You should be able to differentiate between stressful situations and disappointment or anger in your child’s behavior. It will help you to empathize with the child’s feelings rather than using display rules like most parents do to try to push the negative emotions away. Display rules are expressions such as; boys don’t cry! Or you are a big girl now! You are just telling your child that being emotional is wrong. But in the real sense, you are wrong yourself.

Watch the feeling go.

Help your child to understand that the feeling won’t last forever and it’s okay to be emotionally affected by some life experiences. Tell them you encountered such situations and how you overcame them (it doesn’t have to be real encounter). By this, you will be helping your child to notice that there is no bigger sadness that cannot be dealt with and thus it will come to pass. Assist your child in this phase in such a way that they will be able to handle similar situations in a better way in future. Also, make them know that with a similar experience they might not feel the same way they felt in their previous encounter.

“How kids steer their emotional world is very crucial to lifetime success,” psychologist Susan David said. Thus it is very sensitive how you handle your emotionally troubled child. You can also in your life be anxious, agitated, frustrated or even excited about anything, thus the need to recognize such, in others.

 http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/04/well/family/teaching-your-child-emotional-agility.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fwell-family

The Pains of Parenting

The Pains of Parenting

Raising a child comes with some of life’s most wonderful moments. The child’s first words, steps, and laughs will forever be engrained on a parent’s heart. Unfortunately, the task of raising children is not always so lighthearted. There comes a point in which children start seeking independence, and it can be extraordinarily heart-wrenching for any parent to experience.

Young Children

Children and parents have a lifelong bond that only solidifies during those first few years of complete dependence. Most people, however, do not realize that the dependence is a two way street. The parents will become dependent on their children’s dependence, as odd as that may sound. The mom, or dad, will share in their child’s accomplishments, and feel the happiness and sadness of learning new thing. Parents get to experience what life is like as a child, and their innocence is truly heartwarming. Children will often ask their parents if they can help. Sadly, it does not stay that way forever.

There will come a time when a child will start seeking their independence, even at a young age. They will start demanding to choose their own attire for school, as Emily McCombs has experiences with her son. They might not want their hands held, be walked to school, ask for kisses before climbing onto a boss, or be held while falling asleep.

Adolescence

The terrible teenage years. This is when children really start seeking their independence as a ‘person.’ In all honesty, these years might be so ‘terrible’ because that dependence on their parents, and their parent’s dependence on them, is starting to dissolve. It is hard for a parent to let children make their own choices. It is hard for children to make decisions, especially considering that most of their life has been filled with choices made by their parents. This is brand new territory.

Teenagers will not want every choice made for them. They want independence as an adult. The want to feel a sense of self-worth that is separated from their parents. Their choices should be their own, and the consequences should be their own. Parents have to hang on and experience the rollercoaster, let go of their dependence on leading their children through every twist and turn, and realize that the teenager is getting the best resource for life on their own: experience.

Parenting and Vaccinations in New Jersey

As the fall season roles in so does the time for flu vaccinations. This is an especially fun subject for parents as we may not enjoy flu shots ourselves but watching our little ones get them is even worse. This year we cannot turn to the FluMist as it has been taken off the table as an option, as it turns out this less painful option is also less effective.

 

In New Jersey the law requires that children in child care services receive the influenza vaccination if they are between the ages of 6 months and 59 months old, but highly recommends it for every child over the age of 6 months. If you want to read an article specific to this point this one published by the New York Times makes some good points.

 

So what is the recommended way for parents to help their children through the vaccination experience?

The number one answer is distraction.

 

10 Distraction Tactics

 

  • Have your child blow bubbles
  • Read a story
  • Sing a song together
  • Have your child count backwards from 10
  • Talk about shapes and colors on the wall or in books
  • Bring an Ipad or Tablet with games or movies for the child
  • Bring a sucker for the child to have while they are getting a shot instead of waiting until after
  • For babies, feed them a bottle or breastfeed while the nurse administers the shot
  • Have a toy such as a pinwheel that a child can play with using only one hand
  • Ask them to talk about their favorite things such as animals

 

These distraction techniques have supportably been shown to be much more effective than trying to reassure a child it will be ok or won’t hurt. Instead try being honest with the child that they are getting a shot and there may be a pinch for a second then it will go away, then proceed to distract. The doctor and nurses should be helpful and honest also, and with a combination of using less painful and quicker techniques the experience should be no problem at all. For those who are anxious about it can request topical numbing agents to help.

American Academy of Pediatrics Fights Back Against Anti-Vaccine Parents

With the presidential election in full swing, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been in the spotlight. Recently, he created quite a stir in the New Jersey community with his comments that parents “should have some measure of choice” in the vaccination schedule of their children and, specifically, whether or not their children should get vaccinated at all. In response, the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a series of sweeping statements, very recently releasing a statement that wholeheartedly supports physician practices “firing” parents from their practice, refusing to allow the children of these parents to be patients at their clinic without agreeing to vaccine their kids.

One practice in East Brunswick had a physician that stated that she’s “glad the Academy has taken a stand in support of Pediatricians who do not accept these patients.” She went on to describe the sentiments that many physicians feel. There are many children in every practice who cannot receive vaccines for medical reasons. Sometimes these patients do not have immune systems that can handle the vaccine or are perhaps allergic to some of the ingredients. Ultimately, these patients depend on everyone else to have their vaccines up to date to protect them from these dangerous yet preventable diseases.

For example, there was recently a Measles outbreak in Disneyland, CA. Measles is an entirely preventable disease if up to date on the vaccine. There are major risks to getting Measles, such as the development of brain damage called Encephalitis. If children are properly vaccinated, this is a major risk that can be avoided.

While Governor Chris Christie thrust New Jersey parenting into the spotlight with his comment on vaccine choice, ultimately the American Academy of Pediatrics disagreed with his stance. While there are certain issues that parents absolutely have autonomy over with regards to the healthcare of their children, vaccines should be a non-issue. Parents in New Jersey should absolutely agree to have their children vaccinated. One of the miracles of modern science, dangerous diseases such as Measles and Polio are completely preventable with vaccines. Vaccines even wiped Smallpox off the face of the Earth. With such a powerful weapon against debilitating illnesses, it would be irresponsible not to vaccinate their children. These practices are simply acting in the best interest of their patients by enforcing common sense on vaccination.

PARENTS & GROWING UP

Parenting within central New Jersey, or anywhere for that matter, can be both an internal struggle and a challenge as a whole. The secret lies in learning to overcome and face those challenges head on, be what they be. In Michelle’s Tea’s new novel book, which is called “Black Waves”….she discusses this.

Ms. Tea also discussed numerous factors in parenting which will affect the outcome and overall result of the seeds planted later on in life. Such factors do include but are certainly not limited to: setting and geographical information as it relates to upbringing and birth itself, demographics, age difference, social and gender barriers between parents & siblings themselves, and so much more. The proof truly lies in the pudding, as many say. Some ideas are not directly said or derived specifically throughout the novel piece, yet the message is very clear….and the point is there, whether through a subliminal message or through another form or audience consumer targeting. This author is very clear, and there is no doubt about that….or any room for confusion on that matter.

To whet some appetites in the room just a bit further, I add a quote from a rather interesting online news source:
“Midway through, Michelle leaves San Francisco for Los Angeles, with vague plans to write screenplays, connect with her brother and get sober, or at least cut back a bit. But instead of shifting to an earnest story of self-acceptance, the book breaks itself open.Multiple versions of events….” (http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/25/books/review/black-wave-michelle-tea.html, pg. 1, para. 5)
In this sense, one can see how the book is carried through….and what it says about the many unknown things within the minds of parents and families as a whole. They indeed go through many things internally on a regular daily basis, which is certainly not to be ignored here…..as is not in the article and in the book itself. Many fascinating topics as to the dark and exhausted minds of seasoned parents are covered as well, thinking which stimulates certain ideas which one will typically not find elsewhere. Yet they are interesting to note and consider on the whole, making for quite an interesting sub topic on parenting and family struggles within the big cities and those bigger suburb areas.

PARENTING & EMPTY NESTERS: YOU KNOW

According to an online web site news source located on this link below, parenting, it seems, it certainly not what it used to be. Financially, emotionally, socially, and spiritually….things have truly changed. In particular, they have changed much for those empty nester parents and their offspring. Allow me to quote a wonderful slice of this online news source(http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/18/fashion/empty-nest-parents-children-college.html?_r=0, pg. 1).
“The etiquette of the empty nest can bedevil even the most sophisticated parent. Take, for instance, the actress Alfre Woodard. Ms. Woodard said that when her younger child (her son, Duncan) went to college in 2012, her depression caught her in a bind.”

Now with that said, it does seem that empty nesters do indeed rage against an eternal or eternally-seeming struggle which at times is more difficult to bear. As such, things can be more difficult and more intolerable to bear as a whole….for the sole parent, the individual who has left the nest or is leaving the nest, and/or the family and friends as a whole. Hard times do truly take their hard toll here, as is mentioned well throughout the article piece.

Another thing to note is the very fact that there are many unfelt and unheard, plus unseen tears…which are bourne by the parents involved. They are carried and often not released or talked about with others, which may sometimes carry a bit of a heavier load on the present family involved as well. A sense of control is maximized as the reins of control are tightened a bit towards the other siblings, of which they may see and feel as unfair…..not truly understanding the feelings or emotional connections which parents go through for their children of any and all ages. Once a son or daughter, always a son or daughter…..and nothing can change that: not time or travel or experience or anything else.

A parent’s job—-at least a good, loving parent’s job—–is to always love and support their children….and feel for them if they are ever hurt, in need, or moving out of the nest. This can be a more painful experience than some will ever know or fully come to grasp within their own life time. Yet it is absolutely and one hundred percent there and present.

Affordable College: A Reality Check

I took part in many cocktail party conversations about where our children were setting their sights on college, but as the time came near to finance this looming expense, economic reality began to slap me in the face. I sought the wisdom of a seasoned parent who was putting her second child through college who gave me the not-so-mathematically-based advice, “you just do it.”

There are many resources out there on funding an education, and how to save money in the process (e.g., click here.), but my nightly dreams were filled with dread of burying my child in student debt and not getting return on the investment. I knew I had to separate the emotional side of college admissions (“my child got into Princeton” from the practical side of why pursue higher education in the first place?

What’s a Parent to Do?

– Look into your state school and community college. I am fortunate to reside in Monmouth County, New Jersey. Rutgers University and Brookdale Community College are both within commuting distance. Have that realistic conversation with your child that out-of-state does not always mean better. Weigh the pros and cons of going away with the reality of the cost of room and board.

– Use the free tools available to help you avoid sticker shock. The College Affordability and Transparency Center provides a handy, concise site where you can easily access a college’s net price calculator and College Scorecard provide easy access to comparing schools. Payscale.com helps parents to see what recent graduates are making and helps bring a realistic answer to the question, “is this worth it?”

– Talk to your son or daughter about debt, but realize their teenaged brains are not really processing what that debt will feel like four or five years down the road when they may want to move out or go on for a higher degree. Do your homework and keep the conversations light. Let your child know you support them and communicate that you believe that college is a match to be made, not a prize to be won. Competitive schools are great, but they may or may not be the best fit for your child.

The Costly Necessity of Epi Pens

This afternoon, a friend dropped her three girls off for me to watch. One of the girls has a severe nut allergy and my friend handed me a little pouch with cute pictures and the cartoon word “Allergy,” on the outside.

I peeked inside and was so impressed with the amount of organization– everything was labeled. The back up epi pen was clearly marked. A pre-measured dosage of Benadryl was included. Instructions on what to do should the need arise, were included and laminated. I love organization and this pouch exemplified it; however, before I could voice my praise, I was struck with the fact that this pouch was vitally important to her little girl’s well being. Had she neglected to leave out any of the items– especially the Epi pen– it would mean the difference between life and death for her little girl.

My friend walked me through the steps on how to use the epi pen. Sadly, my husband is deathly allergic to bees and has two of his own tucked away, so I was familiar with what to do. Thankfully, he has never needed it and neither has my friend’s little girl. However, whether they are used or not, they still have to be replaced yearly as their effectiveness diminishes over time.

My husband can not control getting stung by a bee. My friend can not be there every moment of every day to make sure a nut never comes near her friend. The company that manufactures these life saving medical marvels can control it’s costs.

As reported in the NY Times, the company that produces and sells these pens is releasing a generic pen at a lower cost. However, the generic pens made by the same company selling the name brand pens, is still 300 dollars.

Why can’t they just lower the price of their original product? They have no competitors that are offering a similar product, hence an introduction of a generic item typically. They will still control the monopoly of their product and they control both the cost of the original and the generic. Neither is a cost saving benefit to the people who desperately depend on them.

Despite the fact that Mylan, the company that produces Epi pens, blames others for the cost increase, they are the ones who stand the most to gain from supplying a life saving Epi pen at an increased cost.

When you have a life threatening allergy, you can not escape it or the daily threat it opposes to you or your loved one. Now, you also can not control the fact that the cost is skyrocketing on an item that you desperately need. It seems that is exactly what Mylan is banking on.