How Assertiveness Can Help You Raise Better Kids

Despite the ever-present temptation that parents have to agree to their kids’ wishes, research indicates that it nurtures a sense of inadequacy that can never be satisfied. Their demands might seem trivial at first but nonetheless, the intensity and quantity of demands made increase with time. This highlights the importance of nipping such behaviors in the bud as soon as they are noticed.


Saying no to your kids’ demands may make you look like a savage. However, they learn from it over time. Initially, you will get plenty of unfriendly and mean looks. They may even revolt and call you a meanie. This is an expected outcome because they will ultimately realize the fun that accompanies every No from you. It has also been found out that disagreeing with kids’ demands pays off in the long run because it helps you avoid the unnecessary trouble of raising spoilt kids.


Tough Love


Some call it tough love but nonetheless, learning to say no helps mold your kids into go-getters, and adults who are adaptable to any situation. By yielding to your kids’ demands all the time, you deny them the opportunity to seek solutions, and working with what they have at hand. Research shows that kids whose parents were assertive decision makers realize early that they will not always have things done their way. This makes them learn to pursue further goals besides setting higher standards for themselves. In the long run, they develop the ability to cultivate the value of resourcefulness and pragmatism.


When raising young children, you should understand that they are empirically resourceful. If you give a spoon to a toddler for instance, all manner of uses will come to his/her mind. On the other hand, an adult is stuck to using it for eating. This clearly shows that many years spent pursuing petty ends corrodes our ability to make more use of what we have.


Every time you agree to your kids’ request to buy something, you imperceptibly show them that the resources that they currently have at their disposal have limited uses. An occasional veto compels them to think of alternatives. Abundance shouldn’t be seen as a mark of success to the extent that is makes you agree to every wish that your kids make. This is because kids can grow into resourceful adults by merely experiencing occasional scarcity.