Tag Archives: Parenting

Being “Good” is all the Gift I Need

Posted in Life Lessons, Parent Dilemma, Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

Today, marks the last day of the 7th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday.  Tomorrow, I embark on the 8th Anniversary of my 29th Birthday.

Alright, so I am going to be a 37-year-old person tomorrow.  Big deal.  It’s just a number and according to my son, I still look like a 45-years old so what more could a girl want.

Well, what I really, really, really want this year and every year to come is a gift that monetarily costs nothing and would validate every ounce of who I am.  It was asked of me when I was child and I like to think  I delivered.

Let me explain.

Growing up, I asked my mother what she would like for her birthday.  And each year she would say the same – be good.   I hated this request and would resent my mother for not asking for something like perfume or flowers or jewelry.  It wasn’t until I was much older, with a paying after-school job, that I was able to buy her little things.   I’d like to think in the end, I gave her the gift of “being good” – except for maybe a year or two through my adolescent and college years.

Fast forward to now:  My very own children now ask the same of me.  “Mommy, what would like for your birthday?”

Without a second thought, I simply stated, “Being Good is all the gift I need.”

Shit. No sooner had the words left my lips did I cringe in horror.   Is turning age 37 the year we turn into our mothers?

Well, luckily, my son indicated it’s just not possible to “be good“.

“What if I tell Daddy to buy you a new car?  I don’t want to touch my piggy bank”,  he said.

The truth is, there is really nothing I want other than to know that I am doing a good job raising my children.  I would like to think I am raising decent, caring human beings who will one day be adults who contribute to society in a positive way.

So I changed my approach and asked,  “What about trying to be the best you can be AND some seeds to plant in our garden this coming Spring.”

Little Man seemed to like this idea. He said he would get Daddy to buy seeds and promised to be the best he could be……”but please remind me because I will forget.”

So on the cusp of turning another year older, I look forward to what life will bring and hope that I can be a good enough Mother to have good kids.

…Oh and as for what my Mother is currently asking for – Gift certificates to restaurants, clothing stores, spas and Broadway Plays.    Apparently, she is making up for lost time.

…Oh and to my husband who may be reading this – this post doesn’t really apply to you.  I really really really really want to go to London.

 

A Mother’s Worst Enemy is Another Mother?

Posted in My Mama Friends, Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

“I hate these full-time working moms”

One sentence.  One thought – made by one mother about another mother.

Last I checked, we are living in the year 2013.  We live in a country were we value freedom of speech and as tragic as it is to admit, this sentence – which appeared as a Facebook status – is the opinion of a mother who has the right to express this opinion.

However, this one simple ignorant sentence is explosive and hurtful to working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, part-time working mothers, small mothers, tall mothers, white mothers, black mothers, any and every mother. Why?

Because that one sentence pits us against each other.

I am not friends with the mother who posted this comment.  I only know that her statement bothered a friend of mine.  I am taking the time to write about this today because I want to implore to you (not just mothers, everyone) to do the following:

MH910216391Support each other and the choices we make. Set aside your jealousy of what you can and can’t accomplish and learn from each other.  You are the people who are guiding and teaching our future leaders.  Your actions mold these little people who become the big people who will lead our country.

I’ve written this post a number of times since beginning this blog.  I have learned that sometimes the most arrogant people are the loudest and most uniformed.  I feel sorry for the person who wrote that post on Facebook and I do hope that she – whatever  her situation may be – is content with her life.

To all the other mothers that are reading this post, I commend you for being fair and honest and human with each other. Share this with post with those you know and love and respect and show your support of each other’s choices.

You Made Me Smile

Posted in My Mama Friends, Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

photo(30)Mornings, as many of you can relate, are crazy and hectic.  Who wants what for lunch – Who can’t find their shoes – Who is supposed to be where, when.  AND my personal favorite – “please sign these forms” – as they walk out the door.  But the minute the cherubs are on the bus, there is a sense of calm and peace.  Most mornings, as the children set foot on the bus, I am peeling away from the bus stop en route to work in hopes I am only a “little” late (please note, I park safely ahead of the stop so as not to violate any laws).

One recent morning, as my oldest was about to climb aboard the bus, she froze.   “It’s gym and I am wearing boots.  Mommy Help!”

Instantly, I was in crisis mode. I sprang towards home on foot in very high heel boots and ran.  My neighbor and fellow parent seeing my ridiculous shoes, immediately followed me.  In record time, I ran inside, grabbed the sneakers.  Between my home and the corner where the bus waited, my friend relayed the sneakers to the stop just in time.  Problem was averted and I was delighted.

So on this particular morning, I followed the bus to the light instead of being way ahead of the big yellow bus.   As I pulled up to the light along side of the bus, I could see my cherubs wildly waving and blowing kisses at me.  Without much thought,  I waved and blew kisses back with as much enthusiasm as I was receiving.  The light turned greened and I sent my last kiss and pulled away.   I drove to work that morning, sipping my coffee and listening to my radio and was content.

When I arrived at work – I found this message waiting for me:

“You made me smile the entire drive to work this morning. I was behind you when your Mommy love was showing with the waves and blown kisses. You and I played cat and mouse the way until you broke free and I had to turn. I kept waving at you each time we passed but you were in your mental zone. Mommy hat off, driver and marketer hat coming on. Have a great day my friend. You are an awesome Mom.”

A friend and fellow mom was stopped at that light behind me and had sent the email when she arrived to her office.   I was absolutely touched.  When we met, her youngest and my oldest were in Kindergarten together.  She must have seen that deer-in-the-headlight look on my face that day and took me under wing explaining half-day schedules, bus procedures and everything since.  I always looked up to her as that mom who always knew the perfect thing to say and could juggle even the toughest of schedules.

And with a simple quick email, she made ME smile.   I am very fortunate to have such caring and wonderful women to call friends – Women who don’t judge and don’t gripe; Always supportive and always there.

Cliques – They Start Young

Posted in Life Lessons, Parent Dilemma, Time Management, Work Mom Balance by

It always amazes me the “things” I learn when driving the children’s carpools.  It’s as if they assume there is a magical barrier that blocks out their conversation from those sitting in the front seat from the those having the conversation further back in the car.

Case in Point: During a recent carpool, I learned that my daughter formed a “group” and she was the self-appointed leader.  I had to chuckle (inwardly, of course) because, well let’s face it – the apple never falls far from the tree.  Both my husband and I are planners, schedulers and tend not to shy away from taking the lead, so it’s no surprise that our first-born would be any different.  What surprised me, however, was the reason this group formed.  Apparently, there is a child in my daughter’s grade who is not particularly nice and has risen to the level of “popular girl”.  From what I have learned, she is not pleasant with those who are not “her friends” and she “appoints” whom she will be friends with and whom those appointed can be friends with.two young girls laughing behind another girls back

Did I mention my daughter is eight years-old?

I learned while driving in the car with the imaginary barrier safely shielding this conversation, that my daughter began “her group” because she felt terrible for those who were cast away by this popular girl.  Her group was all-welcoming, but you had to denounce your friendship with this popular girl.

At this point, I had to remove the magical barrier and give my daughter and her friends, my two cents.  I explained to the girls that their group is no better than the popular group when they begin excluding others.  They thought about this further and seemed to grasp the point, but really to no avail.  “But SHE is mean and goes out of her way to be mean.”

I debated about getting involved any further.  I emphasised the importance of ignoring this popular girl and enjoying the friendships they do have with each other.  I hoped that would be the end of this issue.  However, it seems to have escalated and has begun to impact a decent amount of my daughters’ friends – all of whom are unhappy because of this popular girl.

So what is a mother to do?  Of course, I would love to call this girl’s mother and give her a piece of my mind, but that would be pointless and futile – solving nothing.   I am proud my daughter rejected being a member of this exclusive group, but forming her own is not the answer.  And in all honesty, I wish this could just resolve itself.  I remember mean girls back in my day – maybe not this young – but they were present.  I used the “ignore” method and it worked for me despite the very hurt feelings.

So again I ask, what is a mother to do?   Mothers who have experienced this, what advice to you have for us?

Isn’t It Ironic – Twenty Two Days of Thanks

Posted in I am Thankful Today For by

When I was younger,  I spent hours putting together Lego sets.  My brother and I created little cities, cars and spent hours engrossed in our play.

Fast forward to present day.  “Mommy, please build this for me,”  whines my youngest.  After the first few sets, I eagerly completed buildings and trucks and super hero lairs.  However, I soon lost complete interest – especially when the fragile 59-step ship or village or car fells apart amidst a sea of Lego pieces!  But Little Man was persistent and would look at me with sad puppy eyes and explain that he is not yet seven years old – as is indicated on the box – and had not a clue on how to start.  So for the past few months, I would try to find the time to work on one of the many Lego boxes Little Man received.

That is until just last week.

In an attempt to catch up for the lost week without power and a husband who was away on a business trip, my time was limited.  When my Little Man asked for me to help put together Dino Lego, I called out from the other room to open the box and give it a try.

Close to 20 minutes passed when I realized I was not being beckoned into the other room.  My first guess was that Little Man lost interest and found the iPad.  But walking in the kitchen, I found him diligently assembling the Dino Plane and on step 24!

“Look at me Mommy.  I am a genius.  I am not 7 yet, but I can do this!”

So today, while I am melancholy that I am becoming less needed  (ironic – I know – since I was just complaining about having to put together the Lego myself), I am thankful that Little Man gained confidence in his ability to try something on his own.

Join me in the Twenty-Two Days of Thanks. Post on your facebook or twitter or blog and in the comment section of this post and the 8 posts to come what you are thankful for. Let’s share our thanks with others and spread joy and laughter this season.