A New Jersey psychologist is questioning some of the more familiar parenting methods presented today in mainstream society. During an interview that was published by the Huffington Post, Dr. Arnie Kozak raised a few questions regarding the effectiveness of modern parenting styles. Kozak explained that modern parenting consists of parents attempting to spend large amounts of time with their children so they won’t appear to be neglectful. Kozak disagrees with this method and believes that children and parents both need time in solitude for the benefit of their mental health. Dr. Kozak presents one study in an effort to prove that quality time with children is not necessary to raise them effectively.
Dr. Kozak provides an anecdote at the beginning of the interview describing his frequent time spent alone as a child. He states that his parents were not neglectful but simply respected his need for solitude as an introverted child, and did not feel the need to be constantly engaged with him. Kozak also sites a study which shows allegedly shows that house mothers from the 1960s spent less time with their children than working mothers today do. The study stated that mothers from the 1960s spent a recorded 36 minutes per day actively teaching and playing with their children as opposed to the 129 minutes a day spent actively teaching and playing with children by modern working mothers.
Dr. Kozak also sites personal experience with parents who are overly involved in their child’s life. He states that sees, on a consistent basis, parents who have no time for themselves because they are so wrapped up in their child’s life. He explains that some parents see the well being of the child as the primary goal of their parenting to the detriment of their own personal lives. Dr. Kozak believes that parents should consider their personal well being when developing a parenting style. He believes that “helicopter parentings” is not effective, especially in younger children and that it is more beneficial to both parents and children when parents allow their children to have time to themselves. Dr. Kozak states that parents should not feel the necessity to have every moment of their child’s day planned and scheduled. A return to practical child rearing standards seems to be in order.